About 20 minutes I finally lost it with this Twilight bullshit!! I am fed up of going to search 'Vampire' or 'Werewolf' and getting pages and pages of Twilight crap flooding my computer. Jesus, I wish Stephanie-bloody-upherownarse-Meyers had never written them! Being someone who has read all 4 books, I want a refund!! I want all those wasted hours back!! I could have done something worthwhile!! I spoke to some friends about this and it turns out that I'm not the only person who can keep her head when ever Edward Cullen is mentioned. We then came up with some quotes for your viewing pleasure. Carry on, dear reader, Carry on.
TWILIGHT FANS; LISTEN UP!! YOU NEED TO HEAR THIS!!
1. Dracula or Lestat is a vampire name. 'Edward' is not. Edward is a name for a 70 year old man in Chipping Norton who runs his own post office.
2. I loathe the burning of books. But Twilight and its subsequent volumes made a bloody great bonfire!!
3. Twilight. Even the hopeless romantics retch.
4. Edward cant read Bella's thoughts. She's so dull she doesnt have any.
5. Fuck Bella!! I'd rather be Bellatrix!!
6. Potter> Twilight. Because J.K took the time to learn how to write!
7. Twilight. I have read all 4 books and seen the movie and its still shite.
8. Save trees. Recycle Twilight.
9. Global Warming is caused by the deaths of all those trees used to publish Twilight.
10. I would gladly burn all the Twilight books so that such a catastophic mistake would never be made again!
11. Edward Cullen is a paedophile.
12. Team Shut The Hell Up.
13. I envy people who havent read Twilight.
14. Bella and Edward are; obsessive, psychotic, overdramatic, horny, teenagers!!!
15. Twilight; if you are less than 13, the stupidity is excusable.
16. I think. Therefore i dont like Twilight.
17. Edward Cullen; Paedophile stalker. Every girls dream... OMG!!! WTF!!
18. Oh?! You like Twilight. Here, hold my drink while i punch you.
19. Team Edward? Team Jacob? Team go and read some decent literature or shut the fuck up.
20. People who make fun of Edward are so right!!
21. Edward Cullen would look better with a silver dagger shoved between his shoulders.
22. If you name your kid Bella or Edward im going to puke. Then kill you. Then I'm going to rename the child.
23. There's a line between chivalry and sexism. And Twilight just crossed it.
24. Stephanie Meyers boggart is LOGIC.
25. If I see one more piece of Twilight merchandise someone will die. And it will not be pretty. Neither will it sparkle.
26. Twilight; for readers who think having a plot was so last year.
27. Twilight bullshit makes me ashamed to be a teenage girl.
28. Twilight; so emo that you wanted to batter your head in.
29. Do you guys realise that Twilight is not real??
30. Some people dont like Twilight. DEAL WITH IT.
31. Real vampires dont bloody sparkle.
32. Dear Father Christmas, I wish all the Twilight fans would get Interview with a vampire for Christmas so they can see what a real vampire novel looks like.
Rant over. I think I have made my views perfectly clear. :D
Lots of love,
A proud member of the Anti-Twilight movement.
Nannon
xxx
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Agreed, seconded and believe Bram Stoker would be rolling in his grave!! WTF?! VAMPIRES DON'T SPARKLE! GLASS STATUES DO!! HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE FUCKING FANGS!!!!! And Bella is a twat and looks like a brainless boulder. Period.
ReplyDeleteI believe there should be a minutes silence for the murder of vampire novels. poor Bram Stoker. Poor Anne Rice :'(
ReplyDeletePoor LJ Smith :( *sigh* tis the death of all literature as we know it :'(
ReplyDelete